Let's Start With Beer

Yes, let's start with Beer. The author of a paper I had to read for today, but that's beside the point. Also, do not buy Staropramen, this Czech beer I got today. Blech. Unless you like aged horsepiss.
But this post isn't about beer, it's about the bullshit I recently agreed to subject myself to for at least the next 3 years, for a nice taxable bonus of $7500. So here’s the awesomest story on the fucking planet. I set the bar high, what can I say.

A small FOB, built on a defunct chicken factory. There are about three groups of portashitters on this FOB, and like anyone taking a shit in a highly effective greenhouse, soldiers scrawled all sorts of funny shit on the walls like “3ACR sucks dick” or the always classic “FTA” and sometimes something about that hot admin chick.

And the usual depictions of titties. What are ya gonna do?

So the commander of said FOB got pissed off, and so decided to place a 24-hour guard on…well, just one group of shitters. Makes sense, right? Put a guard on one group of shitters, who has to sign in every person going to use the shitter, check the inside walls after every splattercrap to make sure there’s no new unauthorized creativity, and sign out that person after they’re evacuated their bowels or other fluids. And apparently mine and another team had responsibility over this, the only group of guarded shitters.

Combined, we had 12 people. Two officers, several NCOs, a few enlisted. Obviously officers can’t draw this duty, but they prohibited NCOs from this also. So for 24-hour guard we had a half-dozen NCOs guarding portashitters. I might mention that we were attached to this unit that owned the FOB, and were reservists while they were active-duty airborne. Well.

Great duty. Gotta love the muthafuckin airborne. Good use of soldiers’ time when they have a fuckin job to do outside the wire – make them stand shift at a shitter! But I digress. Touché. That’s enough venting for one day.

I'm not one of those that posts only negative things, I promise the next post will be an exciting description of the most ridiculous immunoglobulins you've ever heard of.

CW